Couples therapy makes space for working on your relationship with each other. Allowing a skilled witness to see and experience first hand how the two of you interact and the complexity of what transpires between you might make you feel very vulnerable. With your help I will try to build a safe place for exploration in my presence, and if I prove to be empathic, trustworthy and responsive to your particular needs, therapy can be solid ground for gaining objectivity. Becoming curious again about each other and what is possible between you can restore the trust at the core of your relationship and revitalize desire, humor, hope … the unexpected.

Some possible focus areas that may come up in therapy are communication patterns, typical conflict interactions, or in the case where one or both partners are feeling overwhelmed by a circumstance, finding support and gaining understanding of choices and options. Often, some exploration of each person’s early relationships inside the family they grew up in can be helpful, as those experiences tend to follow us into our current relationships in unconscious ways.

Sometimes learning to calm and soothe yourself in a time when the spark in your marriage seems to have died away, can contribute in surprising ways to renewal of passion between you. How the dynamics of the bond between you is played out in the day-to-day, emotional, sexual, intellectual and spiritual aspects of your coupling may be some of what you may want to explore together.

Going to couples therapy is not a guarantee… (continued)
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