Couples Therapy
A good partnership often hooks us in both our best and worst characteristics and can bring up the most overwhelming and frightening, as well as the most exquisite parts of ourselves. What the other calls up in you can be creative and destructive, not only because of your own history, capacities or destiny, but as a result of the refining grit and tempering fire of relationship to the other. Without some level of commitment, there may be no reason to lift the curtain on the theater of the unconscious that is active in many partnerships and marriages and begins to reveal itself in more conscious ways in couples therapy.
It may not feel so great when you are in the midst of conflict or facing extreme difficulties, but it is precisely in coming to know and appreciate each other’s differences and strengths that love, pleasure and understanding can deepen. You may be really disappointed and disillusioned at times, but revitalization in a relationship frequently hinges on the undoing of illusions and idealization. In literature and mythology, the moment of betrayal, of being turned away from, not seen, is often the turning point that ushers in the possibility of rebirth and the mobilization of inner resources. In other words, when the time comes that you start to question “where is the person I fell in love with?” this can either be a time for starting over again and again with a new partner, having an affair or some other diversion from your disillusionment, or for going deeper and re-finding and re-finding both your lover and yourself in deeper and deeper manifestations. Becoming more of who you are as an individual can nurture your relationship but the dance of coming together and apart can feel treacherous sometimes.
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